ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOU.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!
IT'S FINALLY 25 DECEMBER!
I HAVE A BABY SANTA NOW
BB IS SO CUTE WHEN HE WEARS THAT SUIT!
JUST WANNA HUG HIM TO SLEEP
i hope my dears would all be happy and okay this christmas

WINTER WONDERLAND.

GONNA DRINK MILK AND PAPAYA.
LIKE EVERY DAY NOW.
FOR MY BOOBS GROWTH.
INSPIRED BY MY SIS.
HAHA.

I FINALLY SAW SAB AND JQ!
I MISS THEM SO SO MUCH.
CANT WAIT TO HANG OUT WITH THEM ON THE 24TH
OR A DINNER DATE ON WED NIGHT.
MY DEARS!
GONNA GOSSIP!
HAHA.

MY BF MADE MY DAY!
I LOVE HIM!!
HAHA.

BECAUSE OF YOU.

I LOVE MY DEAR.
SHE DID ONE OF THE SWEETEST THINGS FOR ME TODAY.
THANKS DEAR!

WENT TO ORCHARD.
IT FEELS SO.
CHRISTMASSY.
HAHA.
I NEED MONEY FOR THE CHRISTMAS SALE!
NOW I FEEL POORER THAN BEFORE.

RICKY AND WENSHAN ARE GONNA BE BACK SOON!
FINALLY.
I MISS MY DEARS.

CHRISTMAS IS JUST 5 DAYS AWAY.

SEOUL.

i should have known.
what have i gotten myself into?

I'VE LOST MY SWAROVSKI BRACELET IN THE PUB.

KISS.

just went for a run.
it sucks.i suck.
i cant run for nuts.
it makes me giddy.
half of the time i was walking.
cant expect too much from someone who failed her 2.4km twice.
especially when she had actually trained for it.
and the timing is still close to 30min.
shall train for a better stamina.
and continue to run in the days to come
or not.
haha.
CHRISTMAS IS COMING.

FIND.

never felt more distant.
not that it bothers me.
we've never walked together anyway.
it's just.
idk we can totally pass it off as strangers.
the distance between us is just a few feet apart
but it feels so much more.
he's walking so fast
i couldnt catch up.
maybe that explains his long legs.
whatever.
he just kept on texting.
i wonder which bitch he's texting to.
if you are too sexually active why bother getting hitched?

RING DING DONG.
JONG HYUN IS SEXXYYY.



AND KIM HYUN JOONG.
HOTNESS.

STARSTRUCK.

NOW MY BANK ACCOUNT HAS ONLY SLIGHTLY MORE THAN 50 BUCKS.
THAT'S MORE THAN HALF OF THE PAY GONE
WHICH IS 300+ BUCKS
WHICH MEANS I AM LEFT WITH THE REMAINING PAY OF 100+ TO FILL UP MY FAST DEPLETING BANK ACCOUNT
SHIT.

MEET ME HALFWAY.

I WANT SOMEONE LIKE STEWARD BOY.
HAHA.

HAVE A SUDDEN URGE TO GET MARRIED.
STUPID.
HAHA.

6 weeks.4 MCs.
but that is not gonna affect my attendance for itp.
or that's what my LO said.
hopefully he's right.
he better be otherwise i am screwed.

i can be in the same GEMS class as bf!!
HAHA CANT WAIT.

wanna go HK and see him.
that's if he's still there.

"girls before 20 go for guys with looks,
late 20s hook up with guys with stable careers
in the 30s all they care is his wealth
in the years after that they just go for looks again
it's a cycle"
HAHA.

INSA.

I AM SO DEAD.
I THINK MY LO HAS CAUGHT ME WATCHING MOVIE DURING OFFICE HOUR.
I AM SCREWED.
I DOUBT EVEN DAVE CAN HELP ME NOW.
SHIT.

I NEED MONEY TO SHOPPPPP.
I FEEL BROKE ALREADY.
NO I ALREADY AM BROKE.

CANDYSHOP.

i have changed to working at site office at Heeren.
and its.NICE.
although its all guys but its fun
ESPECIALLY MY SUPERVISOR THERE.
HE IS.idk.
he's kinda like typical gangster
but knows lots about cars
AND LIKES RACING.
sat in his car today.
its just.ok reminds me of deepan.
THE SPEEDING.
MOD OF HIS CAR.
EVEN THE GENRE OF MUSIC HE LISTENS TO IS ABOUT SAME AS HIM
HAHA.
and he's damn humorous.
BUT HE'S MARRIED.
JUST MARRIED.
HAHA.
i miss my dears.

GET SEXY.

F1 IS AWESOME.
I AM SO GONNA GO THERE AGAIN NEXT TIME.
IF I HAVE THE TICKETS.
HAHA.
LEWIS HAMILTON.JENSON BUTTON.

sorry.
i should have known better.
why was i so damn insensitive?

SUCKER.

guess i am just sucker for ALL THOSE SHIT.
have always been.

i miss my dears.classmates.everyone.just not.

PABBO.

I MUST BE NUTS.
I MUST BE CRAZY.
FOR DOING SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
SHOOT ME.

HONGKONG.HK.

have a fetish for male hairstylists now.
no.LIKE SINCE FOREVER.
must be due to him
just wanna go hk and look for him now.

MY RESULTS SUCK.
YOU SOUND SO HYPOCRITICAL.
AND FAKE.
DONT THINK YOU KNOW ME SO WELL
BECAUSE YOU DONT.

GONNA GO F1 BABYYYYYY.

love.SEX.magic.

during sex,love is not needed
but when in love,sex comes with it.
like a package.
guys have it for pleasure.
girls do it to please guys.

if you despise him dont be like him.
but now you're just exactly like him
so what difference does it make?
you are just a replica of him.

girls always wanna be their guy's last girlfriend
guys wanna be their girl's first boyfriend.
just BE FCUKING INDEPENDENT
or just find a sugar daddy
because guys are just toys.
have sex.no love.not hurt.

REPLAY.

MY ITP PLACEMENT HAS CHANGED.AGAIN.
FOR THE FOURTH TIME.
now i can have dinner with victor everyday after work
followed by dating at changi airport
if he wants
HAHA OK WHATEVER

HOTEL ROOM.

I AM GONNA DO MY ITP AT TAN TOCK SENG HOSPITAL.
TTSH.
now i feel like i am in some nursing course instead of engineering
going there to do itp as some nurse and not engineer.
ok.EEWW.GOSH.NO.
not that i despise nurses
it's just that i cant stand the sight of ounces of blood oozing out.
like some meat being slaughtered with the blood and all
i am already not eating pork and chicken.
ok not completely.but yeah.
if i ever become a nurse i can just forget about eating beef too
i can just become a vegetarian and eat greens.
and if there's ever be problems with the crops,
i can stop eating once and for all.
but that would never happen.
anyhow i'd be doing some electronics stuff over at ttsh.
which i dont even know what i am gonna do,how i am gonna do or whatsoever.
i only had electronics when i was in year 1
when that was the basic module for everyone taking engineering.
if i have been able to stay at the first itp i've been posted to.
at least i'd be in some aero company
not that i'd be in engineering dept
but at least it sounds nicer when i tell others
and i'd def be able to see many planes taking off and landing there.
HAHA IF.
ok whatever shut up
and be grateful that at least my itp is only 2 mrt stations away from my house.
UH.
HUH.
AJA!

THYROID.BITCH.BASTARD.

why do people even bother to get married?
when all's just gonna come to naught
and be stuck with the fcuking temperament of the family
tolerating all the shit from them
STFU.
and dont bother to come if you dont give a damn.
you make me realise how hard life can be.
thanks.
both of you should just fcuk off

i dont like this house
too many memories.too scary.
HDBs are never good.

what if one day your loved one suffers from amnesia?
all of the happy memories of you and her are gone.
even if you create more of it,they'd just be gone the next day.
she wont remember it.
she'd confuse the truth with falsehood
and starts hallucinating
and becomes forgetful.
depression.that's what you call it.

FCUK OFF.WE ARE NOT FAMILY.

JUST FCUK OFF
DONT COME GRUMBLING
AND SAY ALL THOSE FCUK
FCUK OFF WE DONT FCUKING NEED YOU
FCUKING BASTARD
YOU CAN JUST FCUKING GO BACK TO THE WOMAN OUTSIDE
WE DONT FCUKING CARE
DONT BOTHER TO BE HERE ANYMORE
DONT BOTHER SAYING YOU HAVE DONE ALOT FOR THE FAMILY
WHEN YOU HAVE FCUKING CONTRIBUTED NONE
DONT THINK WHATEVER YOU HAVE DONE ARE SO FCUKING GREAT
YOU ARE NOT
ALL YOU HAVE DONE IS CONTRIBUTION OF SPERMS
WE DONT NEED YOU
MY MUM IS WAY GREATER THAN YOU
SO FCUK OFF.

너라고.

WHAT THE FCUK
I AM SICK AND TIRED OF ALL THIS SHIT
I DONT NEED ALL THESE TO GET ME THROUGH
THANKS.

ION IS AWESOME.
I AM SO GONNA SHOP THERE AGAIN.
I AM SO BROKE.
GOTTA START WORKING SOON.

what am i gonna do?

내 머리가 나빠서

PRETTY BOYS ARE HOT.
OK WHATEVER I KNOW
BUT THEY'RE JUST SO
PRETTY.FLAWLESS.
ESP H GUYS
HYUNJOONG.HERO.HEECHUL.
AND HENDRA.
HE SAID HE WOULDNT MIND IF THE GIRL DOESNT KNOW HOW TO COOK
HE WOULD COOK FOR HER.
HAHA.

i have to do something.
soon.hopefully.
get it out of my mind
out of my mouth.

i am so damn broke now.
can forget about eating in the weeks to come
shall just feed on water
and detox my system
and just go on diet
OK GOOD.WHATEVER.

ITS YOU.

just went drinking with ql and xinyi
it was.
idk.good.
not because of the vodka
because we just ended up bitching more than drinking
in fact we drank less than half of it
and surprisingly i drank the least
because half of the time i felt like puking
not because of tt i think
my health has been quite fucked up recently
felt like puking even before i started drinking
and it got worse now
i have to keep stuffing food into my mouth
to stop myself from feeling tt way
hoping tt would keep whatever's gna come up from my throat go down
ok whatever.

and i should start waking up on time
so that i dont skip lessons anymore just because i am late
my attendance is shit
maybe i should start sleeping earlier
no i must
but thats if i can even sleep that early
i'd be lying on the bed staring at the damned four walls
ok whatever
i wouldnt wanna be in the house either
its cold war between my parents
over something
or nothing
ok whatever
i cannot be bothered anymore.

waiting for something.
or maybe just nothing.
idk.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE.RIP MJ.

ok i am supposed to study now
but nothing seems to get inside
so forget it whatever
i think i am quite screwed for this mst

ok uh this is random
but i just think month of June is cursed?
for me.
MJ died.
not that he's related to me
nor am i a big fan of his or whatsoever
but yea.
my grandfather died in june too.
my grandmother passed away in june.
and the date she was cremated was the same as my birth date.
and my father had his driving license revoked on my birth date too.
all these happened in June
and near my birth date
how convenient.
not that i am blaming for it.
but it just feels that i am jinxed?
ok whatever but not anymore.
because now i just wanna make things happen
and not wait for them to happen
and if something is meant to happen
idk how to prevent it
just take it as it is?
ok whatever.

TOUCH MY HAND

i am having cravings
for bimbimbab
and suffering from insomnia
and thinking of some stupid shit
that i dont even know what exactly is going through my head
ok whatever

i realised i always dreamt that my father would abandon me
in some rubbish dump
or some stupid HDB flats which are like mazes
and with altars inside the houses
that i can never get out
that was when i was young
and i'd wake up crying
no.more like wailing
HAHA
and today it's like deja vu
attended my cousin's wedding lunch at his house
i felt sick
it was like in those dreams
with the altar
and dark corridors
and stupid mazes that you can never seem to get out of
uh ok whatever
it's all shit
i'd never get those dreams again

i like steven!!
his body is HOT!!
he doesnt look chinese
and he is not married!!
maybe attached?
HAHA
ok WHATEVER SHUT IT

CULO.

RITZ CARLTON WAS AWESOME.
if i ever get married
IF
i would hold my banquet there
HAHA
ok WHATEVER.

and i realised my father is good to us
only when fathers' day or his birthday is round the corner
and he would remind us in a roundabout manner
and tell us what are his wants
by SAYING LOUDLY he has been yearning for one for very long
HOW NICE
like hello?
cant you just tell us directly?
and if it's not to his liking
he would complain about it and chuck it aside
ok i know period.
maybe i am just prejudiced against him
or it's because of my period
whatever.

walk away.

a DreAm iS a WiSh mAde wIF ur HeArT...

i'm insomniac
now anemic too
uh actually i've always been
but think it has gotten worse now
almost fainted in the bathroom just now
uh but ended up collapsing in the room
blacked out momentarily
and i wasnt even dressed properly
and wth my father was going on and on about it
that he sounded more like scolding me
than expressing his concern
ok uh whatever
it's not the first time i faint anyway
and i def wouldnt want him to be there if i ever faint again

a DreAm iS a WiSh mAde wIF ur HeArT...

1.Besides yr lips,where's your favourite spot to get kissed? neck?ears?

2. How do you feel when you woke up this morning? i need more sleep

3. Who was the last person who you took picture with? Joash!!

4. Who you consider to be spoiled? idk?

5. Would you ever donate blood? if there's an emergency?

6. Do you have a good friend of an opposite sex? yea

7. Do you want someone to be dead? uh nt really?just wished they weren't with me

8. What does your last text msg says? uh i forgot

9. What are you thinking about right now? i need loud music.pitbull!!

10. Did you wish someone was with you right now? nt really

11. When did you go to sleep last night? 2 stg?

12. Where did you buy the t-shirt you are wearing right now? given during tennis camp

13. Is someone on your mind right now? yea

14. Who was the last person you texted to? uh i forgot

15. Tag 10 people to do this quiz .

1. Qiling
2. Jiayan
3. Phillson
4. Sabrina
5. Hsien wen
6. Phoebe
7. Kelvin
8. Joyce
9. Stephanie
10. Roy

16. Who is 2 (Jiayan) having a relationship with? no one.tharma i know watcha thinking.HAHAHA

17. Is 3 (Philly) a male or a female? male

18. If 7 (Kelvin) and 10 (Roy) gets together, will it be a good thing? if they are gay

19. Is 1 (Qiling) studies good? she study smart

20. Is 4 (Sabrina) single? no attached

21. Say something about 5 (Hsien wen)? i could look into his eyes forever!!

22. What do you think about 3 (Philly) and 6 (Phoebe) together? ehh idk

23. Describe 1 (Qiling) my love forever

24. What happens if 9 (Stephanie) and 10(Roy) fight? i wouldnt wanna be there

25. Do you like 8 (Joyce)? yea

GEE GEE GEE GEE BABY BABY.

ok i think my tests so far are shit.
but whatever.

and i think i have a trusting problem?
i dont seem to be able to trust anyone
not implicitly
idk why
it just feels.
and i dont open up to people easily?
idk what if one day he's not there?
everything would be gone
like.
ok whatever.

i am glad i've ql and jy with me.

all good things come to an end.

i've finally talked to him
about how i felt
about the whole thing and change
i've expected him to change
but definitely not in that way
maybe i wasnt prepared
for the new change in him
all i could think of was
fuck it
i miss him
the old him
he's one of the best guy friends i ever had
we were close
or that's what i thought
but whatever just fuck it.

you were the closest friend i ever had
and you forever will be
we've been through the good and the bad
together as one,arent we?

but there was one period of time
our friendship started straining away
everything was getting out of line
why is our closeness fading day by day?

how come?
conversations stop
awkward silence
this is unusual,i dont like it
its not supposed to be like this

i love the days we shared our joy and laughter
because of what it doesnt really matter
i treasure our relationship
its a beautiful thing called friendship
this are the ups and downs of life
promise me that we will overcome it together
however hard it is we must strive
even if there are tears in our eyes

give me your word
that we will be best friends forever
so that we will always have each other shoulder's to cry on


after all we've been through
im glad we're talking again
that we're friends again

i miss my gurls.

BOOM!ITS ON.

uh i think i am abit hyper today
no actually its my normal self whenever i'm at home
haha but whatever
and i uttered some shit to someone
was hyped up for idk why
and it's the truth.
part of it.
of what i've said.
but.
WHATEVER.

and i wanna go to ricky's house.
hopefully.on thur.
I MISS THAT BOY SO MUCH AND MY GURLS

a DreAm iS a WiSh mAde wIF ur HeArT...

uh okay i love my friends.
it might be random.
but.yea.
THEY ARE MY LOVE.
like fatiha.
she is.
so sweet.and cute.
seriously.
"uh what would your life be if i'm not in the class?"
HAHA.
BABY LOVE.
and i miss jy,ql,sab and all.
and RICKY!
HE'S FINALLY GONNA BE BACK
THAT DRUNK GUY.

and i just wanna go to the rooftop.
and i used to think so hard.
why did i fall for him?
for the things that he have done
the words that he have said
the places he brought me to
it is all.everything.
and his eyes.
HAHA.
not that i still love him.
but i am still loving the memories.
life's a bitch.
no.
it is love which complicates all.
flings are good.
true love is bad.
not because of him i'm thinking in this manner.
it's all the things that i've witnessed.
which made me realised it.
to me
one night stands are more acceptable than having sex with your guy.
because.
it hurts less.
far less.
when everything with him comes to naught.
no commitment.
nor resposibility.no whatsoever.
love is a game.to play.
not for eternal love.
uh whatever.

a DreAm iS a WiSh mAde wIF ur HeArT...

i wanna go somewhere.
the rooftop.
not for the memories.
definitely.

I AM HEALTHY.
AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT I THINK.
my family apparently is sick.or rather has always been.i mean both physically.and maybe mentally for some.
my mum has problems with her eyes and she has went under the knife once for it.but not that i can remember it.was too young to understand.all i can remember is that she pops pills into her mouth every few hours at a point in time.many.colorful.pills.and tablets.medicine.she was on medication.to keep her condition in control.
my eldest sis has lumps in her breast.and has been going for checkups over the years.and that includes having to go for operations too.lest the lumps turn into cancer.and she still has to continue doing that.keep tab on it.
my sis?she has kidney problems.and used to go to the to hospital for checkups once a week.and she has undergone operations for it.if she has swollen feet it'd mean that she'd have to go to the doc for it.because it might mean that she's been eating too salty.or too heaty.too much for her kidneys to take it.
and for the man living in the house obviously he's cranky.and sick too.he has serious gastric problems and always have to rely on medication.and the only times when i feel sorry for him is when he has to do scopes.to check for gastric cancer.idk.it feels.
and now my relative is down with cancer.its at the last stage.it feels.its like the bad news would come anytime soon.just like how it has been like with my grandma.sudden.but yet expected.i dont wanna hear those rituals.and cries.again.i dont wanna go to the crematorium.again.

I AM BLESSED.
I HAVE YET TO UNDERGO OPERERATIONS OR HAVE MAJOR ILLNESS.
i am only slightly anaemic.

iM in MiAmI BitCh.

NOW ITS STUCK IN MY HEAD.
AND I AM ADDICTED TO JUNK FOOD.
i just realised i am tolerant only of my nephew's cries.if it were other babies i might well feel like.uh throwing them out of the window.stuff the pacifier into their mouths.to think i've always wished for a younger sibling.i might well just mix alcohol into their milk and put them to bed.maybe thats why my parents fed me with alcohol when i was young.to shut me up.haha.uh but i still love joash.
and i need money.desperately.i am so broke now.and have yet to save up for my birthday party.but whatever.i'll have the money.somehow.sometime.hopefully.

rANdoM...

uh i miss HK.and the guy that i've met there years ago.not that i can remember how he looks like.just that he has brownish gold hair.and handsome.details of his features arent important.just that he's fair.good complexion.and HOT.haha.obviously i am deprived in sp.pretty girls and boys are far and few in sp.love to look at them.think i am behaving more like a guy.just that i dont fantasize about them.haha.
i am in sp tennis!!haha sports and me just dont really connect.but whatever.shall still go for it to train my stamina.which obviously sucks.that explains why i failed my 2.4km run despite my 2-3 attempts.and my worst time was 30mins.even that i still finished the run panting so hard.that i thought i would black out any moment.uh whatever hopefully i'll be able to last throught the tennis sessions.haha ok shut it.

a DreAm iS a WiSh mAde wIF ur HeArT...

i saw my father when i was walking home just now.he was standing amidst the crowd.at the traffic light.i felt weird.idk why but i just know i have to walk away.the other direction.away from him.it is not the first time.and i know it wont be the last time i would be doing that.because long ago i no longer know how to communicate with this person.and i dont intend to either in the future.its amazing to me that i can recognise him in a crowd.even without my glasses.when it just feels that we are complete strangers.that conversation between us is kept to minimal everyday.less than 10 sentences.which is good.somehow.at times i wanna stalk him and see which bitches he's with.STALKER haha.but i didnt.must be some sluts whores.uh whatever just shut it.i dont give a damn anymore.

why do girls always fall for assholes?because of the stupid tactics that the guys use when they're wooing them.because they're always blowing hot and cold.because they're bastards.and most of the girls are suckers for that.wishing it would be a fairytale or whatever.and i am one too haha.i figured maybe next time i should find a old and filthy rich man to get married off to.and when he's dead i'd be rich.sugar daddy.and i can grow old with Mustang.haha.after all that's what i'm being taught all these while by my aunt.but i'm not gonna get married.so whatever.

a DreAm iS a WiSh mAde wIF ur HeArT...

i just love my friends.nothing can say how much they mean to me.all the shit that i face.all the things that my friends have done and said.i love them.
recently i've been having mood swings.it is bad.and it is def not menses.and i think it is all so shit.i just want a good night's sleep.i need a good night's sleep.it would be alright after that.it has to be.uh this post sounds.wrong.somehow.but uh whatever,shut it.
i feel like drinking.and some loud music.haha.

Move move Shake shake Now drop.

now the song is stuck in my head.

yesterday night with the gurls and all was awesome!

somehow i feel drinking makes me more sober.

i feel more..

this makes me sound like a compulsive drinker

but uh whatever.

the fun

laughter and time spent together.

i feel good.

and with the drinks

we get a little high.

and jq is DEFINITELY THE BOMB!

i just love him more when he's drunk

HAHAHAH

heck with all the shit he gives.

i can do with people better than him.

my friends.

i love them.

a DreAm iS a WiSh mAde wIF ur HeArT...

i wish i am drunk.at least i wouldnt have to listen to all the shit that he's sprouting.wth.what is the freakin' problem with him?why is it that some people can have such perfect families?why is it that no matter how hard i try things still remain status quo?if not worse?i just cant help but keep thinking if only i am born into a better family,where my parents are at least sane.or my father rather.i just wish i could run away.from all this shit.from him.i just wanna get drunk and get high.get drunk and forget about everthing.where his existence is no longer.when his words no longer affect me.i just wanna drink.till nothing else matters.till he's out of the picture.completely.

i love the gurls.jq.friends.
they keep me alive.
i love it even more when they're drunk.haha

a DreAm iS a WiSh mAde wIF ur HeArT...

i should take my mind off it.
because it sucks.
and nothing's gonna happen.
and things starting to complicate.
for ME.
uh shut it.

a DreAm iS a WiSh mAde wIF ur HeArT...

i am feeling so bloated now..and its not because of menses..i think i am eating way too much recently...all those crisps and cravings are taking a toll on me now..have been feeling nauseous lately..but uh whatever...at least it's putting some weight on me..or rather more than some...and i used to think snacking doesnt put on the extra pounds.now i've gotta change that perception.
and gosh sem's starting soon and i've yet to adjust to my sleeping time..i am a nocturnal now.guess i'd be a walking zombie during lectures in the days to come.which equates to more caffeine.
and i think there's a problem in my father's family production line.my father's cranky at times.his sister too darn autocratic.not to mention both of selfish.seriously.my aunt is just a heck of a trouble.
and this time my mum might have to forgo going to her grandson's one month celebration for her stuff?and she wasnt even really happy when joash is born.wth..my mum is her PA.takes her paychecks.but seriously.she is treating my mum more like a underling.she is younger than my mum but her behaviour just shows that she doesnt give much a damn to it.seriously,show some respect.for others and yourself.get a life.i am not insinuating that i despise her.but uh whatever.just hopefully i'd gow to love her.eventually..
and i am just glad that friendships with my gurls are still the same.i dont think i'd wanna go through the same darn thing with them as i did with phoebe and i before.

and i am still hung up on the guy at the flea mkt.or rather still mesmerized by his pretty face.heh

a DreAm iS a WiSh mAde wIF ur HeArT...

gosh i miss my gurls badly...after my date with sab it reminds me of the old secondary school days...going out with the guys are fun but seriously,its even better having a good bitching time with the gurls.on everything,nothing...it just makes me feel...whole..
and i thought i wouldnt be able to really talk to her anymore but...i love you.i forgot why i used to love you.but today i realised why again.
and dont be deceived by the looks!guys might look good in the clothes.broad shoulders and a seemingly good bod but what's underneath might just not be the thing you wanna see.hahah

love make time passes..
time make love passes...

a DreAm iS a WiSh mAde wIF ur HeArT...

so many things are going through my head now...apparently this holiday didnt do much in sorting them out..all these while it has been fiddling with the improbability..somebody just slap me

a DreAm iS a WiSh mAde wIF ur HeArT...

wth school is gonna suck big time this sem...seriously,ending at 5pm everyday?it's just shit..and with 3 practicals on friday and more autocad?i think i am just gonna die this sem...all the weight i've gain is gonna drop to around 41 again when this sem starts wth...hopefully the pracs are gonna be aircraft engines and not some stupid drilling and turning...oh gosh

a DreAm iS a WiSh mAde wIF ur HeArT...

chalet was great!!my classmates,entertainment,food,drinks,car rides,cooking...they were GREAT!!not that i did any of the cooking but whatever..the guys are good!!
i just love indians!!and the halal gurl!!and car rides in deepan's car!!!

a DreAm iS a WiSh mAde wIF ur HeArT...

people dream to escape from reality
i stay awake so as not to dream
the dream that seemed so real
i cant fall asleep as i am afraid
afraid that something might happen when i am sleeping

a DreAm iS a WiSh mAde wIF ur HeArT...

i think im getting the meaning of my dream...
someday the family might just end up like this
i feel so trapped
everything is so fucked up

the arrival of Joash is supposed to be a joyous occasion
but why are they doing these
what the hell is wrong with you guys

a DreAm iS a WiSh mAde wIF ur HeArT...

1. Your future friend: People with mature and strong character attract you. Your close friends are usually a tigress or a tomboy.
2. Your travel plan: In the future, you will often take overseas trips especially to modernized countries. You will get to explore Europe and North Asia like you always wanted.
3. Your future financial status: You are a big spender! You always spend on friends and luxury goods without feeling guilty. No matter how much you earn, you churn to match it. Your credit cards get thinner and thinner from frequent swipes. The figure in your bank account is not what you enjoy seeing.
4. The last period of your life: You can't stand being a lonely old lady so you will spend the last days of you life being a kind loving grandparent so that the kids will love to have you around.

how true!!hahahahahha
http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test61.aspx

a DreAm iS a WiSh mAde wIF ur HeArT...

im sad.
and confused.
wth is wrong with me?
i should be happy.
i am,
at times.
but a part of me seems
missing...
everything seems alright.
but why does it feel so wrong?
seriously
to hell with these nonsense

i miss my grandma...
the wailing..the rituals...they still ring in my ears...
the day she's being cremated..
it's on 30 june too...

i miss jy.
and ql.
and hsien wen.
and fatiha.
and...

a DreAm iS a WiSh mAde wIF ur HeArT...

i should just start eating greens and become a vegetarian..seriously..i should never have went to the market..i am disgusted when i see meat now...its like...omg!!im not trying to go on diet or being anorexic but its just that i cant seem to be able to stomach much food nowadays..when i eat too much nowadays i'd either wanna puke or have the runs...
and my sleeping cycle now is so screwed up....i just cant get to sleep...and i'd always be awakened by my palpitating heartbeat...im so tired and drained but i just cant sleep...
i need to take my mind off it..

BeGinnIngS aRe RanDoM BuT enDinGS aLwaYs HavE A rEasOn...

i need to get it out of my mind..

a DreAm iS a WiSh mAde wIF ur HeArT...

What is your True Fear? Your Result: Losing Someone You love affection and the people in your life more than anything. Your greatest fear is that one day someone you care about won't be there anymore. You are a very friendly and inviting person, who draws in a lot of friendships with your kind, considerate, and loyal nature. However, deep down you are slightly insecure and unsure of yourself. You couldn't deal with it if you didn't have one of your loved ones in your life anymore. You don't have too much to worry about though, because with a friend like you, no one will want to lose you either!
Disappointment
Being Alone
Death
Looked down on
Where Your life is Going
Commitment

http://www.gotoquiz.com/results/what_is_your_true_fear

a DreAm iS a WiSh mAde wIF ur HeArT...

Let's love like we've never been hurt before;
Let's dance like no one is praising us;
Let's sing like no one is listening to us;
Let's work like we don't need money for it;
Let's live like today is the doomsday.




"if you dont want to get hurt, then dont fall in love"

a DreAm iS a WiSh mAde wIF ur HeArT...

finally 2 more papers left and i'd be free!!!!omg!!!
and i've finally had my drink!!!though its just a can of carlsberg bt oh well its better than nothing...i've been feeling like shit recently...and its nt just coz of exams..thank goodness there's fatiha,philly and tharma to keep me sane..i cant wait till end of exams!!!im so gonna get drunk,wasted and whatever..it'd v unsightly for a gurl to be drunk bt whatever..i just wanna be drunk and be free from all this these even for just awhile...i really dunnoe what to do about it anymore
and the guy is...i really do wanna slap him.

rANdoM RanTinGS...

i've just realised Xueyi really looks like ljk!!!from some angle...hahahahha...omg!!!seriously!!!his hair and complexion and stuff...omg!!!hahahahhaha...my in class LJK!!!and he's so sweet and faithful!!!hahahhahah...
i wanna go drinking sometime!!!i need some booze!! feel so aaahhhhhhhhh!!!gonna lose my sanity!!!and i feel like slapping some sense into him!!if he has any to begin with...hate his behaviour...his attitude is like...shit!seriously my gurl deserves better...but its ironic how things between them has made us closer...not just with her but also with philly and tharma...didnt expect i'd ever cry in front of them..bt yah...haha..im beginning to really like my class...the peeps are so cute!!the indians just simply rock!!first time ever spending time with 5 indians..like for all breaks,lunches and studyin...hahahha nt really 5 coz philly is too westernised..hahahha..and his eyes are just woa!!!they're like those of a doll!!!so big!!!reminds me of ferrero..i can look forever into his eyes!!seriously!!!and kumar and vejay are beyond description.they're just mind-blasting!!hahahhah..the next russell peters!hahahhahha...and me neighbour's blasting akon's songs over his sound system..yet agin!!that reminds me of father deepan!!hahhahaha...my akon lover friend!and we'd always blast akon's songs in his car!!!i wanna make love right na na na...hahahahhaha...and my j-k lover xueyi who's always glued to shuangsheng..xueyi would always give half of his tissue to him!!hahahahhaha...and tharma(SAYYYAAANG) who's always helping me to finish up my food!!hahahahaha..love them!aaahhhhh stupid exams have yet to study for them!!

and i miss my gurls!!or rather just jy and ql ALOT!! :(

a DreAm iS a WiSh mAde wIF ur HeArT...

i dont feel good about this whole thing thats happening
its freaking me out
its scary
i dont like it
dont like it happening to my friends
especially the both of them
its gonna hurt the people involved
especially her

a DreAm iS a WiSh mAde wIF ur HeArT...

he's not good enough for her
he used to be
but not anymore
he used to be the medicine for all of her sorrows
but now he is the root of her misery
she changed so much for him
to accommodate his atrocious behaviour
he used to be a good friend of mine
but not anymore
because he has hurt her too much
i dunnoe why
but whenever i see her bawling her eyes out for him
it would remind me of HER
and i HATE it

a DreAm iS a WiSh mAde wIF ur HeArT...

it shouldnt have been...
hate myself for it...
dumb..

a DreAm iS a WiSh mAde wIF ur HeArT...

life is so fragile...when i saw her today,she reminded me of my grandma...if my grandma was still alive she'd have been 91 years old by now...she's so skinny now...all her bones are showing...cheeks sunken in...i almost couldnt recognise her...she's like my grandma...like the very last time i have seen her...except that my grandma had tubes inserted in her...and she's already gone for 2 years...
i've always liked to watch people sleep...because they looked so innocent and sweet when they're sleeping...but im scared when old folks sleep...because im scared to find them having no chest movement...that once they sleep they might never wake up...i hope she sleeps well..and i'll be able to hear her soft breathing...

a DreAm iS a WiSh mAde wIF ur HeArT...

OMG!!!the BAYouth gathering was awesome!!!its like a prom night for us..or to me it seems...its just great!!!singing...jamming...dancing...and lots of pics!!!and peera came!!!OMG!!!it was totally unexpected!!hahahahha..the handsome boy..hahahahha...


My Dearest!!!

Loves!!

Love Her!!!

Pretty Gurls!!!

Smile!!!

Saranghae!!!

Leeyen & I

4E2!!!

a DreAm iS a WiSh mAde wIF ur HeArT...

Planetarium lyrics

Evening approaches and the voices of night-smiling children fade I know that you are somewhere under this sky, far, far away At summer’s end, we snuck away together, we found this park I kind of remember that constellation Even if I don’t meet you, I can search for memories Of the same sort of happiness. Both the smell and fireworks going “bang” I want to go to where you are I want to start running there soon I can’t see anything in the inky darkness Even if I’m scared I’ll be okay The wisdom of this clear sky Is here now all the time. I didn’t cry when I saw you in the past Because the sky was clear. Daily, from that road over there, I can only hear one sound. Maybe you’ll stare at your big shadow. It is not in the least expected to change. A sad feeling expands inside you. This is the “you’re not there” kind of feeling. I really want to go and be next to you Even though I am really, really small I love you the most I can be strong I suddenly try to make a wish on a falling star Maybe I’ll reach the point where I don’t cry In a clear sky. Even if I'm not with you, I can search for memories Of the same sort of happiness. Like the smell, together with fireworks going “bang” I want to go to your place (The place that is with you…) A small hand clenching yours, I want to cry; that is a beautiful sky. I suddenly try to make a wish on a falling star Under this sky, I don’t think that I want to cry. Last edited by enlightened0ne on Apr 03, 2007 4:35 pm; edited 1 time in total

a love story..
i thought they would last forever..
they were the best i've ever seen..
they look so good together...
but it has ended..
it used to be a 'they'..
now it's just 'he' and 'she'..
it ended all too sudden...
the snowball has shattered..
the fairytale in it has come to an end...
no more meetups.
no more calls.
period.
i hope she gets better.

personal relationships are so fragile.
is it worth the time building one in the first place?
only to get yourself hurt in the end
all good things come to an end
even the most beautiful fairytale
will come to an end..
from flames to dust..
lovers to friends...
maybe its all just a beautiful dream in the end.