a DreAm iS a WiSh mAde wIF ur HeArT...

im so scared.
this whole thing sucks.
i didnt expect this year's christmas to be like this.
at all.
i hate it.
i thought it'd be fun this year.
it started out great.
really
but ended up bad.
worst ever.
things were spiralling out of control
isnt christmas supposed to be a festive season?
a day of joy and laughter?
how did things become like this?
tears were shed.
bt they were not tears of joy.
sreamings and shoutings could be heard.
bt they were not shouts of joy.
they were cries of frustrations and sadness.
thats the christmas i had this year.
far far far from the christmas i've dreamt about..

he's a womaniser.
a bloody bastard.
he's drunk.
now.
always.
used to be.
im sorry lord.
for saying this.
but i cant help it.
i hate him.
he has brought us too much misery.
he broke up this family.
all by himself.
he started it.
he gambles.
he womanises.
he drinks.
he's abusive.
used to be.
he's useless.
fucking bastard.
a total fucker.

i cant cry over it.
and i wont cry over it.
ever again.


sorry god.
but i would still rejoice.
because it's your birthday.
because i know
you would be here for me
protecting me
no matter what matters.
love you.

let peace,joy and health come to my family.
come to the world.


for the last time i can say this year
Merry Christmas!
i would never forgive him.
never.
i wish i never have him as my father.