all good things come to an end.
i've finally talked to him
about how i felt
about the whole thing and change
i've expected him to change
but definitely not in that way
maybe i wasnt prepared
for the new change in him
all i could think of was
fuck it
i miss him
the old him
he's one of the best guy friends i ever had
we were close
or that's what i thought
but whatever just fuck it.
you were the closest friend i ever had
and you forever will be
we've been through the good and the bad
together as one,arent we?
but there was one period of time
our friendship started straining away
everything was getting out of line
why is our closeness fading day by day?
how come?
conversations stop
awkward silence
this is unusual,i dont like it
its not supposed to be like this
i love the days we shared our joy and laughter
because of what it doesnt really matter
i treasure our relationship
its a beautiful thing called friendship
this are the ups and downs of life
promise me that we will overcome it together
however hard it is we must strive
even if there are tears in our eyes
give me your word
that we will be best friends forever
so that we will always have each other shoulder's to cry on
after all we've been through
im glad we're talking again
that we're friends again
i miss my gurls.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
BOOM!ITS ON.
uh i think i am abit hyper today
no actually its my normal self whenever i'm at home
haha but whatever
and i uttered some shit to someone
was hyped up for idk why
and it's the truth.
part of it.
of what i've said.
but.
WHATEVER.
and i wanna go to ricky's house.
hopefully.on thur.
I MISS THAT BOY SO MUCH AND MY GURLS
uh i think i am abit hyper today
no actually its my normal self whenever i'm at home
haha but whatever
and i uttered some shit to someone
was hyped up for idk why
and it's the truth.
part of it.
of what i've said.
but.
WHATEVER.
and i wanna go to ricky's house.
hopefully.on thur.
I MISS THAT BOY SO MUCH AND MY GURLS
Monday, May 18, 2009
a DreAm iS a WiSh mAde wIF ur HeArT...
uh okay i love my friends.
it might be random.
but.yea.
THEY ARE MY LOVE.
like fatiha.
she is.
so sweet.and cute.
seriously.
"uh what would your life be if i'm not in the class?"
HAHA.
BABY LOVE.
and i miss jy,ql,sab and all.
and RICKY!
HE'S FINALLY GONNA BE BACK
THAT DRUNK GUY.
and i just wanna go to the rooftop.
and i used to think so hard.
why did i fall for him?
for the things that he have done
the words that he have said
the places he brought me to
it is all.everything.
and his eyes.
HAHA.
not that i still love him.
but i am still loving the memories.
life's a bitch.
no.
it is love which complicates all.
flings are good.
true love is bad.
not because of him i'm thinking in this manner.
it's all the things that i've witnessed.
which made me realised it.
to me
one night stands are more acceptable than having sex with your guy.
because.
it hurts less.
far less.
when everything with him comes to naught.
no commitment.
nor resposibility.no whatsoever.
love is a game.to play.
not for eternal love.
uh whatever.
uh okay i love my friends.
it might be random.
but.yea.
THEY ARE MY LOVE.
like fatiha.
she is.
so sweet.and cute.
seriously.
"uh what would your life be if i'm not in the class?"
HAHA.
BABY LOVE.
and i miss jy,ql,sab and all.
and RICKY!
HE'S FINALLY GONNA BE BACK
THAT DRUNK GUY.
and i just wanna go to the rooftop.
and i used to think so hard.
why did i fall for him?
for the things that he have done
the words that he have said
the places he brought me to
it is all.everything.
and his eyes.
HAHA.
not that i still love him.
but i am still loving the memories.
life's a bitch.
no.
it is love which complicates all.
flings are good.
true love is bad.
not because of him i'm thinking in this manner.
it's all the things that i've witnessed.
which made me realised it.
to me
one night stands are more acceptable than having sex with your guy.
because.
it hurts less.
far less.
when everything with him comes to naught.
no commitment.
nor resposibility.no whatsoever.
love is a game.to play.
not for eternal love.
uh whatever.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Friday, May 15, 2009
I AM HEALTHY.
AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT I THINK.
my family apparently is sick.or rather has always been.i mean both physically.and maybe mentally for some.
my mum has problems with her eyes and she has went under the knife once for it.but not that i can remember it.was too young to understand.all i can remember is that she pops pills into her mouth every few hours at a point in time.many.colorful.pills.and tablets.medicine.she was on medication.to keep her condition in control.
my eldest sis has lumps in her breast.and has been going for checkups over the years.and that includes having to go for operations too.lest the lumps turn into cancer.and she still has to continue doing that.keep tab on it.
my sis?she has kidney problems.and used to go to the to hospital for checkups once a week.and she has undergone operations for it.if she has swollen feet it'd mean that she'd have to go to the doc for it.because it might mean that she's been eating too salty.or too heaty.too much for her kidneys to take it.
and for the man living in the house obviously he's cranky.and sick too.he has serious gastric problems and always have to rely on medication.and the only times when i feel sorry for him is when he has to do scopes.to check for gastric cancer.idk.it feels.
and now my relative is down with cancer.its at the last stage.it feels.its like the bad news would come anytime soon.just like how it has been like with my grandma.sudden.but yet expected.i dont wanna hear those rituals.and cries.again.i dont wanna go to the crematorium.again.
I AM BLESSED.
I HAVE YET TO UNDERGO OPERERATIONS OR HAVE MAJOR ILLNESS.
i am only slightly anaemic.
AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT I THINK.
my family apparently is sick.or rather has always been.i mean both physically.and maybe mentally for some.
my mum has problems with her eyes and she has went under the knife once for it.but not that i can remember it.was too young to understand.all i can remember is that she pops pills into her mouth every few hours at a point in time.many.colorful.pills.and tablets.medicine.she was on medication.to keep her condition in control.
my eldest sis has lumps in her breast.and has been going for checkups over the years.and that includes having to go for operations too.lest the lumps turn into cancer.and she still has to continue doing that.keep tab on it.
my sis?she has kidney problems.and used to go to the to hospital for checkups once a week.and she has undergone operations for it.if she has swollen feet it'd mean that she'd have to go to the doc for it.because it might mean that she's been eating too salty.or too heaty.too much for her kidneys to take it.
and for the man living in the house obviously he's cranky.and sick too.he has serious gastric problems and always have to rely on medication.and the only times when i feel sorry for him is when he has to do scopes.to check for gastric cancer.idk.it feels.
and now my relative is down with cancer.its at the last stage.it feels.its like the bad news would come anytime soon.just like how it has been like with my grandma.sudden.but yet expected.i dont wanna hear those rituals.and cries.again.i dont wanna go to the crematorium.again.
I AM BLESSED.
I HAVE YET TO UNDERGO OPERERATIONS OR HAVE MAJOR ILLNESS.
i am only slightly anaemic.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
iM in MiAmI BitCh.
NOW ITS STUCK IN MY HEAD.
AND I AM ADDICTED TO JUNK FOOD.
i just realised i am tolerant only of my nephew's cries.if it were other babies i might well feel like.uh throwing them out of the window.stuff the pacifier into their mouths.to think i've always wished for a younger sibling.i might well just mix alcohol into their milk and put them to bed.maybe thats why my parents fed me with alcohol when i was young.to shut me up.haha.uh but i still love joash.
and i need money.desperately.i am so broke now.and have yet to save up for my birthday party.but whatever.i'll have the money.somehow.sometime.hopefully.
NOW ITS STUCK IN MY HEAD.
AND I AM ADDICTED TO JUNK FOOD.
i just realised i am tolerant only of my nephew's cries.if it were other babies i might well feel like.uh throwing them out of the window.stuff the pacifier into their mouths.to think i've always wished for a younger sibling.i might well just mix alcohol into their milk and put them to bed.maybe thats why my parents fed me with alcohol when i was young.to shut me up.haha.uh but i still love joash.
and i need money.desperately.i am so broke now.and have yet to save up for my birthday party.but whatever.i'll have the money.somehow.sometime.hopefully.
Monday, May 11, 2009
rANdoM...
uh i miss HK.and the guy that i've met there years ago.not that i can remember how he looks like.just that he has brownish gold hair.and handsome.details of his features arent important.just that he's fair.good complexion.and HOT.haha.obviously i am deprived in sp.pretty girls and boys are far and few in sp.love to look at them.think i am behaving more like a guy.just that i dont fantasize about them.haha.
i am in sp tennis!!haha sports and me just dont really connect.but whatever.shall still go for it to train my stamina.which obviously sucks.that explains why i failed my 2.4km run despite my 2-3 attempts.and my worst time was 30mins.even that i still finished the run panting so hard.that i thought i would black out any moment.uh whatever hopefully i'll be able to last throught the tennis sessions.haha ok shut it.
uh i miss HK.and the guy that i've met there years ago.not that i can remember how he looks like.just that he has brownish gold hair.and handsome.details of his features arent important.just that he's fair.good complexion.and HOT.haha.obviously i am deprived in sp.pretty girls and boys are far and few in sp.love to look at them.think i am behaving more like a guy.just that i dont fantasize about them.haha.
i am in sp tennis!!haha sports and me just dont really connect.but whatever.shall still go for it to train my stamina.which obviously sucks.that explains why i failed my 2.4km run despite my 2-3 attempts.and my worst time was 30mins.even that i still finished the run panting so hard.that i thought i would black out any moment.uh whatever hopefully i'll be able to last throught the tennis sessions.haha ok shut it.
Thursday, May 07, 2009
a DreAm iS a WiSh mAde wIF ur HeArT...
i saw my father when i was walking home just now.he was standing amidst the crowd.at the traffic light.i felt weird.idk why but i just know i have to walk away.the other direction.away from him.it is not the first time.and i know it wont be the last time i would be doing that.because long ago i no longer know how to communicate with this person.and i dont intend to either in the future.its amazing to me that i can recognise him in a crowd.even without my glasses.when it just feels that we are complete strangers.that conversation between us is kept to minimal everyday.less than 10 sentences.which is good.somehow.at times i wanna stalk him and see which bitches he's with.STALKER haha.but i didnt.must be some sluts whores.uh whatever just shut it.i dont give a damn anymore.
why do girls always fall for assholes?because of the stupid tactics that the guys use when they're wooing them.because they're always blowing hot and cold.because they're bastards.and most of the girls are suckers for that.wishing it would be a fairytale or whatever.and i am one too haha.i figured maybe next time i should find a old and filthy rich man to get married off to.and when he's dead i'd be rich.sugar daddy.and i can grow old with Mustang.haha.after all that's what i'm being taught all these while by my aunt.but i'm not gonna get married.so whatever.
i saw my father when i was walking home just now.he was standing amidst the crowd.at the traffic light.i felt weird.idk why but i just know i have to walk away.the other direction.away from him.it is not the first time.and i know it wont be the last time i would be doing that.because long ago i no longer know how to communicate with this person.and i dont intend to either in the future.its amazing to me that i can recognise him in a crowd.even without my glasses.when it just feels that we are complete strangers.that conversation between us is kept to minimal everyday.less than 10 sentences.which is good.somehow.at times i wanna stalk him and see which bitches he's with.STALKER haha.but i didnt.must be some sluts whores.uh whatever just shut it.i dont give a damn anymore.
why do girls always fall for assholes?because of the stupid tactics that the guys use when they're wooing them.because they're always blowing hot and cold.because they're bastards.and most of the girls are suckers for that.wishing it would be a fairytale or whatever.and i am one too haha.i figured maybe next time i should find a old and filthy rich man to get married off to.and when he's dead i'd be rich.sugar daddy.and i can grow old with Mustang.haha.after all that's what i'm being taught all these while by my aunt.but i'm not gonna get married.so whatever.
Wednesday, May 06, 2009
a DreAm iS a WiSh mAde wIF ur HeArT...
i just love my friends.nothing can say how much they mean to me.all the shit that i face.all the things that my friends have done and said.i love them.
recently i've been having mood swings.it is bad.and it is def not menses.and i think it is all so shit.i just want a good night's sleep.i need a good night's sleep.it would be alright after that.it has to be.uh this post sounds.wrong.somehow.but uh whatever,shut it.
i feel like drinking.and some loud music.haha.
i just love my friends.nothing can say how much they mean to me.all the shit that i face.all the things that my friends have done and said.i love them.
recently i've been having mood swings.it is bad.and it is def not menses.and i think it is all so shit.i just want a good night's sleep.i need a good night's sleep.it would be alright after that.it has to be.uh this post sounds.wrong.somehow.but uh whatever,shut it.
i feel like drinking.and some loud music.haha.
Sunday, May 03, 2009
Move move Shake shake Now drop.
now the song is stuck in my head.
yesterday night with the gurls and all was awesome!
somehow i feel drinking makes me more sober.
i feel more..
this makes me sound like a compulsive drinker
but uh whatever.
the fun
laughter and time spent together.
i feel good.
and with the drinks
we get a little high.
and jq is DEFINITELY THE BOMB!
i just love him more when he's drunk
HAHAHAH
heck with all the shit he gives.
i can do with people better than him.
my friends.
i love them.
Saturday, May 02, 2009
a DreAm iS a WiSh mAde wIF ur HeArT...
i wish i am drunk.at least i wouldnt have to listen to all the shit that he's sprouting.wth.what is the freakin' problem with him?why is it that some people can have such perfect families?why is it that no matter how hard i try things still remain status quo?if not worse?i just cant help but keep thinking if only i am born into a better family,where my parents are at least sane.or my father rather.i just wish i could run away.from all this shit.from him.i just wanna get drunk and get high.get drunk and forget about everthing.where his existence is no longer.when his words no longer affect me.i just wanna drink.till nothing else matters.till he's out of the picture.completely.
i love the gurls.jq.friends.
they keep me alive.
i love it even more when they're drunk.haha
i wish i am drunk.at least i wouldnt have to listen to all the shit that he's sprouting.wth.what is the freakin' problem with him?why is it that some people can have such perfect families?why is it that no matter how hard i try things still remain status quo?if not worse?i just cant help but keep thinking if only i am born into a better family,where my parents are at least sane.or my father rather.i just wish i could run away.from all this shit.from him.i just wanna get drunk and get high.get drunk and forget about everthing.where his existence is no longer.when his words no longer affect me.i just wanna drink.till nothing else matters.till he's out of the picture.completely.
i love the gurls.jq.friends.
they keep me alive.
i love it even more when they're drunk.haha
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