YOU ARE NOT ALONE.RIP MJ.

ok i am supposed to study now
but nothing seems to get inside
so forget it whatever
i think i am quite screwed for this mst

ok uh this is random
but i just think month of June is cursed?
for me.
MJ died.
not that he's related to me
nor am i a big fan of his or whatsoever
but yea.
my grandfather died in june too.
my grandmother passed away in june.
and the date she was cremated was the same as my birth date.
and my father had his driving license revoked on my birth date too.
all these happened in June
and near my birth date
how convenient.
not that i am blaming for it.
but it just feels that i am jinxed?
ok whatever but not anymore.
because now i just wanna make things happen
and not wait for them to happen
and if something is meant to happen
idk how to prevent it
just take it as it is?
ok whatever.

TOUCH MY HAND

i am having cravings
for bimbimbab
and suffering from insomnia
and thinking of some stupid shit
that i dont even know what exactly is going through my head
ok whatever

i realised i always dreamt that my father would abandon me
in some rubbish dump
or some stupid HDB flats which are like mazes
and with altars inside the houses
that i can never get out
that was when i was young
and i'd wake up crying
no.more like wailing
HAHA
and today it's like deja vu
attended my cousin's wedding lunch at his house
i felt sick
it was like in those dreams
with the altar
and dark corridors
and stupid mazes that you can never seem to get out of
uh ok whatever
it's all shit
i'd never get those dreams again

i like steven!!
his body is HOT!!
he doesnt look chinese
and he is not married!!
maybe attached?
HAHA
ok WHATEVER SHUT IT

CULO.

RITZ CARLTON WAS AWESOME.
if i ever get married
IF
i would hold my banquet there
HAHA
ok WHATEVER.

and i realised my father is good to us
only when fathers' day or his birthday is round the corner
and he would remind us in a roundabout manner
and tell us what are his wants
by SAYING LOUDLY he has been yearning for one for very long
HOW NICE
like hello?
cant you just tell us directly?
and if it's not to his liking
he would complain about it and chuck it aside
ok i know period.
maybe i am just prejudiced against him
or it's because of my period
whatever.

walk away.

a DreAm iS a WiSh mAde wIF ur HeArT...

i'm insomniac
now anemic too
uh actually i've always been
but think it has gotten worse now
almost fainted in the bathroom just now
uh but ended up collapsing in the room
blacked out momentarily
and i wasnt even dressed properly
and wth my father was going on and on about it
that he sounded more like scolding me
than expressing his concern
ok uh whatever
it's not the first time i faint anyway
and i def wouldnt want him to be there if i ever faint again

a DreAm iS a WiSh mAde wIF ur HeArT...

1.Besides yr lips,where's your favourite spot to get kissed? neck?ears?

2. How do you feel when you woke up this morning? i need more sleep

3. Who was the last person who you took picture with? Joash!!

4. Who you consider to be spoiled? idk?

5. Would you ever donate blood? if there's an emergency?

6. Do you have a good friend of an opposite sex? yea

7. Do you want someone to be dead? uh nt really?just wished they weren't with me

8. What does your last text msg says? uh i forgot

9. What are you thinking about right now? i need loud music.pitbull!!

10. Did you wish someone was with you right now? nt really

11. When did you go to sleep last night? 2 stg?

12. Where did you buy the t-shirt you are wearing right now? given during tennis camp

13. Is someone on your mind right now? yea

14. Who was the last person you texted to? uh i forgot

15. Tag 10 people to do this quiz .

1. Qiling
2. Jiayan
3. Phillson
4. Sabrina
5. Hsien wen
6. Phoebe
7. Kelvin
8. Joyce
9. Stephanie
10. Roy

16. Who is 2 (Jiayan) having a relationship with? no one.tharma i know watcha thinking.HAHAHA

17. Is 3 (Philly) a male or a female? male

18. If 7 (Kelvin) and 10 (Roy) gets together, will it be a good thing? if they are gay

19. Is 1 (Qiling) studies good? she study smart

20. Is 4 (Sabrina) single? no attached

21. Say something about 5 (Hsien wen)? i could look into his eyes forever!!

22. What do you think about 3 (Philly) and 6 (Phoebe) together? ehh idk

23. Describe 1 (Qiling) my love forever

24. What happens if 9 (Stephanie) and 10(Roy) fight? i wouldnt wanna be there

25. Do you like 8 (Joyce)? yea

GEE GEE GEE GEE BABY BABY.

ok i think my tests so far are shit.
but whatever.

and i think i have a trusting problem?
i dont seem to be able to trust anyone
not implicitly
idk why
it just feels.
and i dont open up to people easily?
idk what if one day he's not there?
everything would be gone
like.
ok whatever.

i am glad i've ql and jy with me.