A THOUSAND YEARS

A call from you is bliss.

You telling me about your ns stuff

And all the things you find funny.

Truth be told,sometimes I don't understand whatever you're saying

Neither do I find it funny.

But seeing you being so excited about it

Laughing and sounding so happy about it

It makes me feel relieved.

Relieved that someone's w you inside

Glad that it's not sucha drag during your trainings.

And seeing you blabber on and laughing about those ns incidents

I actually find you sorta cute.sometimes.

No doubt I find it kinda annoying at times

Nevertheless,I'm still glad you bothered to tell me

And tryna make things sound more interesting for me

I admit I dont make a good girlfriend of a ns guy

But I'd try to be more tolerant and understanding about it ok?

Ops!no idea why I'm even writing all these

But whatever

What we've is a weekend affair.

SAFE AND SOUND.

Sometimes I just think I'm so lucky.

Cause you're the best I ever had.

How you already know I'm so insecure incomplete and all

Yet loving me all the same.

I asked if you're w me because you sympathise me

You replied no.

And said to me one of the sweetest things I've ever heard.

And it made me teared.

I hope it ain't one of those sweet talk bullshit that guys are so capable of.

That those frequent dreams that I've been having recently ain't happening.

At least not now.not yet.

You make me feel that despite of all the shit emotional turmoil that I have in me

There's a guy who still loves me.

Someone to call mine.

For these,I'm glad.

NEED YOU NOW.

No idea why the hell I'm so emotional now.

All of a sudden the images are just coming back to me.

Seeing cousin's husband w another woman.

Mum standing at budge of balcony downing alcohol and tryna commit suicide.

Aunt using a chopper to threaten bf and pushed him down the stairs eventually.

Well he didn't die,but bleeding.profusely.

Mum going into depression and had to sleep at godma's house to recover.

The memories are just coming back and idk why.

And I lose in faith in us once again.

I should be single.

This sucks.BIG TIME.

SAFE AND SOUND

Find myself loving you more everyday

And I Feel insecure about it

And hate it.

And that's precisely why I wanna love you less each day.

That's selfish of me

But I just don't wanna be hurt when it ends.

But why does it seem so difficult to do that.

I don't see us long term

Thou we always talk about it

And both you and I want it

But somehow it doesn't feel like it'd be

Perhaps it's my insecurities eating me up

Perhaps it's the environment I was brought up in

I just wish I was able to love freely without any worries.