TELL ME GOODBYE.

i hate it when things start going well.
because it's like insinuating that it's the beginning of the end.
that's what i always thought.
i like to keep people at distance when we're close
not because i'm playing hard to get.
but because that's the only way i know not to get hurt.
i'm sick of this.
people are sick of it too.
some have left already.
so you can leave if you wanna.

BACK TO DECEMBER.

married couple having active sex life outside
MBA.
Married but available.
they dont call it unfaithful.
they said it's their way of respecting each other
giving them space.
so long as they still love each other.
uh might as well be friends with benefits then.
maybe i should try that.
next time and no involvement of feelings.
i'd have my father to thank for if i achieve that next time
i've known what's an affair.
seen domestic violence.
heard wails in the middle of the night
to find that either parents are quarreling
or mum attempting suicide
with knife and pills beside her
standing at balcony and threatening to jump from 18 storey.
know how it feels like to find your mother leaving the house at midnight
cause she cant stand all the shit.
and experience how it feels like when mother is in depression
and has to be sent to IMH
cause she's in delusion and on the verge of giving up her life
and has to take anti-depressants daily.
and you're a constant reminder not to get a guy with no job
gambling was how you raised me up
i dont wanna end up having to move house 4 times
and even had to sell grandma's house to pay off your debts.
i've learnt alot from you.
not to trust anyone in a relationship.
now i wont.
thanks.