Somebody that I used to know.

Lies and distrust.even in dreams.
That's pathetic.
Was told that from your body language that you're not really into me.
And I'm starting to believe it.

DROWNING.

I miss my grandmother.

Of the past.

When I looked at her today

It feels like I'm looking at a different person.

She's so thin now.

I can feel her bones.

When I massaged her hands and legs

I'm reminded of the good old times.

Times she went to our house and play with me.

Times she waited for us at the market and we'd walk up to her house together.

Times she'd cook for me.

Times she shielded me from all the canings from mum.

Those were all distant memories.

Now i just wanna hold her hand and walk up the stairs with her again.

But she's too frail now to even walk.

I miss her.

Can I have her back aft the operation?

Relationships fall and whither because eventually someone stops trying and it doesn't feel the same. The first couple of months or even years it may be the best thing you ever wished for, but eventually someone loses feelings, gets to busy, or doesn't even bother to try. You know why? Because they're comfortable. The beginning is all about the chase. Can you keep up? If you can then you'll get the hang of it and then you won’t want to try anymore. You aren't afraid to lose them because they're yours. Arguing leads to fighting and it just gets worse from there. It all flashes by so fast. So, cherish what you have.

NOBODY'S HOME.

Feeling so useless.helpless now.

Wish someone's here.

Anyone.

To guide me thru.

To tell me what to do.

A THOUSAND YEARS

A call from you is bliss.

You telling me about your ns stuff

And all the things you find funny.

Truth be told,sometimes I don't understand whatever you're saying

Neither do I find it funny.

But seeing you being so excited about it

Laughing and sounding so happy about it

It makes me feel relieved.

Relieved that someone's w you inside

Glad that it's not sucha drag during your trainings.

And seeing you blabber on and laughing about those ns incidents

I actually find you sorta cute.sometimes.

No doubt I find it kinda annoying at times

Nevertheless,I'm still glad you bothered to tell me

And tryna make things sound more interesting for me

I admit I dont make a good girlfriend of a ns guy

But I'd try to be more tolerant and understanding about it ok?

Ops!no idea why I'm even writing all these

But whatever

What we've is a weekend affair.

SAFE AND SOUND.

Sometimes I just think I'm so lucky.

Cause you're the best I ever had.

How you already know I'm so insecure incomplete and all

Yet loving me all the same.

I asked if you're w me because you sympathise me

You replied no.

And said to me one of the sweetest things I've ever heard.

And it made me teared.

I hope it ain't one of those sweet talk bullshit that guys are so capable of.

That those frequent dreams that I've been having recently ain't happening.

At least not now.not yet.

You make me feel that despite of all the shit emotional turmoil that I have in me

There's a guy who still loves me.

Someone to call mine.

For these,I'm glad.

NEED YOU NOW.

No idea why the hell I'm so emotional now.

All of a sudden the images are just coming back to me.

Seeing cousin's husband w another woman.

Mum standing at budge of balcony downing alcohol and tryna commit suicide.

Aunt using a chopper to threaten bf and pushed him down the stairs eventually.

Well he didn't die,but bleeding.profusely.

Mum going into depression and had to sleep at godma's house to recover.

The memories are just coming back and idk why.

And I lose in faith in us once again.

I should be single.

This sucks.BIG TIME.